He caught me off guard. We were just good friends who used to laugh on our sorrows and mistakes. We were having a funny day, just like so many others. A bier in our hands, snacks on the table, barbecue almost ready. All of sudden, his arm was in the back of my chair, his legs stretched touching my bare feet, smiling his best smile while looking into my eyes from time to time. A strange intimacy like we had never had before. Everyone noticed it. The girls went excited, their eyes asking how dare I not tell it before. We ate, we laughed, we drank. He kept his pace always too near, his fingers burning the edge of my skin, squeezing my mind.
Later, he gave me a silent ride. An unbearable silence that I broke with no subtlety. What happened tonight? Everyone thinks we’re dating. He stopped and gave an unexpected sad look. I don’t know. I had no words for such answer. He gazed to the night sky, his breath going slowly in and out. I’m so alone, still gazing to the night. You know me better than anyone, every wound, every bruise, everything. He turned at me keeping his eyes in the shadow. You would never hurt me. You would never ask me something you know I can’t give. We are friends, how can we get hurt? It just seems to be a good choice. I took his hands in mine and put on my best friendly smile, a poker face for the first time. Com’on, we know we are not our type. I didn’t want to be a safe choice for a broken heart. Not with all that fever burning inside my own heart